All The Pointless Killing: Looking For Light In Darkness

Our world feels heavy and dark to me lately. I have been reading and watching the news with a burdened heart as we continue to kill each other in mass quantities and destroy the beautiful lands of our world in a systematic, destructive, and pointless fashion. I was speaking to a friend this morning and trying to understand if the increase in overwhelming violence feels more prevalent due to our ability to share information as it happens, or if we are just becoming more monstrous as a people. Based on what my son was sharing with me about a documentary he watched on “The Dark Ages” the other day, we humans have always been the most destructive animal ever to live on our planet. Maybe our ages have always been dark as we have been conquering lands, resources, and each other’s property, since the beginning of time. We don’t always do this with intelligent conversations, agreements, or thoughtful compromises; more often than not, we do this in horrific and torturous ways. Murderous ways.

These thoughts have been causing me to wonder how to help others hold hope during such despairing times. When we are bombarded with mass killings, and populations of people who kill each other in the name of many things such as: biblical lands, sexual orientation, adultery, God, or not fitting in with our classmates; holding on to any kind of light can feel impossible in so much darkness.

Hearing about the plane being shot down over the Ukraine-Russian border yesterday is just one more example of the senseless nature of murder. There were 298 fatalities that occurred in a split second. It was originally reported that there were 295 people killed because the airline had not accounted for the 3 infants that had been on board. They missed the three infants who never had a chance to have a life in our world. Who knows what a loss to society those three brand new people were when they will not be given the chance to grow up. We will never know what we have even lost in just those three alone, not to mention the 100 people on board who were working in the fight against AIDS on their way to a conference, or the remaining 195 people from all over the world. All 298 people have families, loved ones, and friends, who are grieving alongside a world of fellow human beings that are also devastated. Any one of us could have been on that plane.

When did it become of statistical relevance that how many people get killed on each side of a battle is what determines who can be deemed “right”? You kill 100 of our people, we retaliate and kill 150 of yours; therefore, we are winning. How can killing someone be in alignment with any form of victory? Isn’t everyone losing? The whole of the world has lost if this how we calculate victory. How much land is worth the blood of one human being? Is there a ratio? Maybe a square foot per body? It feels so senseless and yet the conflicts continue.

We are historically a people who seek power and control over others. We are also a people who are loving, kind beyond measure, and filled with compassion. How to hold both the dark and light aspects of our human nature is a struggle even on an individual basis for many people who cannot accept the dark aspects of their selves. Therefore, it would make sense for this same conflict to also extend on a much larger scale to us as a people, who have an unimaginable burden to bear, as an awareness of what we are capable of as human animals is more and more apparent in our actions.

It can be a challenge to maintain kindness and generosity in a world that does not always return the favor. Do it anyway. Believe in the potentiality of us as human animals to heal and love one another in spite of our differences. Choose to live in a world of which this is the common goal of yourself and those you come in contact with. I chose a career in which I can support others in their own individual journeys of growth, self acceptance, and empowerment so I am gifted in that my work can reflect my hope.

I know that I am lucky to not have to fight another to feed my children, or find myself desperate to provide warmth to my family when the weather is hostile. I am mature enough to realize that within my own stance is ignorance. I have never had to live in a place where I do not feel like I have the opportunity to provide the resources needed to care for my own. With this lack of experience, I cannot rightfully judge; however, I propose that our fundamental belief systems should stem from a moral base of caring for each other, treating each other with respect, and being kind. Maybe this too is idealistic and unattainable. I choose to hope not.

In spite of the darkness, I will continue to fight for our positive potential as humans. I have been witness to the remarkable will of the human spirit to heal and find its authentic self. Whether an individual’s struggle is through human weakness, mental illness, a traumatic history, or personal loss – the human spirit is undeniable and powerful beyond measure. I see this in my therapy office every day. As we all go through our daily choices, thoughts, and decisions, I hope that all of the acts of kindness, generosity, and patience for each other’s differences helps to better our world one action at a time. Believe in the power of these little tiny acts to gently create a luminescent glow in the darkness. Hold on to your ability to care for those around you as you join me in fighting towards light one small victory at a time. Never give up in this quest. It is too important for us, our children, and our children’s children.

Stacey Neil is a Licensed Psychotherapist and Personal Trainer in private practice in Los Gatos, California. She can be reached at 408.827.5139.